Trashy tv sometimes leads to good reflections.

Yesterday, I had the apartment to myself, which meant…

Binge-watching The Royals, consuming everything in sight… and a dash of Sex and the City thrown in for good measure.

As I watched a Sex and the City episode I have watched more times than there are days in a workweek, I reflected on why exactly this show resonated with such a great audience. The girls on the show were discussing a very real phenomenon: women at work.

You may remember this scene from The Devil Wears Prada, where Andy complains to her boyfriend about her boss.

[caption: She’s not happy unless everyone around her is panicked, nauseous, or suicidal.]

Lean In and other books are now starting to address this inequality. But it is starting to feel too little, too late, as so many women are still facing these inherent rules when we work.

The commandments of women at work:

1. Don’t cry.

2. EVER.

3. If you do, you’ll be (as Charlotte points out in the episode), always the target of “watch out, she may cry.”

4. Be nice, be collaborative, use words like “we,” include everyone.

(Because if they see you’re excluding someone, it comes across like:

)

5. Volunteer for everything.

6. Negotiate your salary, but not too heavy-handed, or you will be looked at as greedy.

My friends (of all spectrums and genders) and I came up with some solutions to these issues.

1. If you must cry, cry when you are alone and in your own office.

2. Actually, just don’t cry at work unless you have makeup handy.

3. See above.

4. Be nice if you must, but manterrupt if you must, too.

5. Set your own boundaries. (As a South Asian, I often myself feeling guilty when I’ve blurred boundaries. But you have to, especially at work.)

6. Negotiate negotiate negotiate.

Women who can and choose to work, I am proud of you. If you choose not to work or you cannot, I am proud of you too. Let’s make the workplace a woman’s world.