20-year olds, please get married when you’re ready to get married, not when you should.

As a South Asian American, I am the lucky recipient of #SouthAsianimmigrantparentguilt.

There are rules about the size I should wear (this is especially unfair because the only people who look like me in film are a certain size).

My family will be reflected by whatever I do. Because my family either lives with me, or has eyes everywhere to watch what I say.

But the biggest pressures I felt was one that many others in their twenties felt: the pressure to get married.

In this ad, Katrina Kaif expresses a deep worry many South Asians feel (men and women) that goes beyond just their age.

As a single 20-year old, a dating 20-year old, and a taken 20-year old, we all feel it.

Because we have aunties that watch what we do, and report what we don’t.

Maybe, in 20 years from now, the twenty-year olds who see ads like this will face completely different pressures.

Or maybe, hopefully, none at all.vitaliy-lyubezhanin-649408-unsplash.jpg

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5 thoughts on “20-year olds, please get married when you’re ready to get married, not when you should.

  1. While I agree with you about a woman, especially a desi woman, should wait until the right time and with the right person to get married, I also understand the parents view of “you should get married.” (not agreeing about age though) I think parents want someone to take care of their children and want to make sure that person is a good guy or girl. All the other society stuff is completely unhelpful and very detrimental to marriage and thoughts of marriage had by youth today.

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    1. Apoorva, you bring up a good point…I never thought about it in the way that they are trying to find someone to take care of their children. I think it’s good to look at the idea of getting married young as a way to help both parties instead of just force them into an awkward situation down the road. Thanks for broadening my view!

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    1. Thank you for finding me, agreeing–and KNOWING what it’s like to grow up in the culture, and I will absolutely follow you back! Love to read about other Desis.

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  2. This happens in the Caribbean and African communities.. Well meaning ‘Aunties’ and friends, who MISADVISE young women to hurry into a union to sometimes less than suitable men! The idea being, that the women can encourage and inspire the man to do better.. The idea often doesn’t work… The women loses more than she gains, because she listens to ‘aunties’ etc, who don’t want her to be ‘lonely’.. Misplaced theory!

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